How Can We Balance Speaking and Silence?

Good morning friends,

Sorry for my blog-skip last time around. Dawn and I were in Guatemala for the wedding of two employees and were gone a little over a week visiting family there. But now we’re back. :)

As you may remember, Nicole, a friend of ours, had asked a few questions stimulated by our ongoing discussion on truth.

I had answered Nicole privately but then afterwards asked her if it was ok if I shared some of our correspondence. She gave her ok so this week I’m sharing the 2nd question/answer.

If you missed the 1st one you'll find it here.

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Nicole’s Q # 2. How do we balance simply "sowing the seed" (and leaving the rest with God).... WITH, shining the light on the darkness and correcting / reproving (standing up for God and His truth)?

This is a perceptive question, Nicole. It comes, I can tell, from a place of your personal experience with trying hard to find that balance and not being sure that you’ve got it right. Dawn and I’ve agonized long and hard over the same questions and we still are not sure we have the final answer. But let’s explore this together.

Maybe the reason the answer seems so elusive is because each situation is different. To know when to talk and how much to say and how forcefully, and when it’s time now to be silent and just pray... these all take discernment and judgment and keen ‘reading of the room’ skills.

If we use the example of Jesus we can see that he did not always do things the same way.

• Sometimes Jesus spoke truth directly and personally but with deep kindness and patience: (Nicodemus)

• Other times he spoke truth in veiled analogies that only those who really wanted to and worked to know could understand: (The Parables)

• A few times he spoke truth with what seems like ‘all gloves off’ indignation and even condemnation toward hypocrisy and self-righteousness and injustice: (To the rulers of the Jews)

• And my favorite is the tender compassion, gracious mercy and loving kindness truth spoken toward the woman taken in adultery. "Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more."

• But then we also have the silence of Jesus at his trial. He spoke very few words. The words he did speak were powerful and they were very true but still he was very much aware that the time to speak truth loudly and boldly and openly was past. Now was the time for silence and prayer and waiting.

How to find the balance in all of this takes Holy Spirit wisdom and much prayer and advice-seeking from the rest of the body of Christ. I always thought this verse from Jude expresses clearly the variable types of truth approaches that at times must be used.

Jude says, "And some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh." (Jude 1:22-23)

From Dawn’s and my limited experience, it seems a wise way to discern if the truth should be spoken more forcefully or if it’s time to be silent depends on whether we sense openness to truth or not.

If a person has clearly expressed a closedness to the truth... then we do need to allow them the right to choose. God does. We don’t like to. We wish we could get a hold of them and force them to choose truth because we know it would be for their own wellbeing, maybe even for their salvation.

But, it seems that trying to force someone to look at and accept a truth that they have clearly and forcefully said they do not want to look at is counterproductive.

If someone is walking on a mountain path and we know they are going the wrong direction and we have been showing them the evidence for the last while but they insist that under no circumstances, will they turn around... that this is the path they are going to walk no matter what!... then it likely would not be helpful or productive to pull out a map or a compass and even politely try to still show them that they are wrong.

They do not want to see! They have their mind made up! They will take their own way and likely would be offended at the compass and may even feel offended as if you are trying to trap them.

When someone is offended or feels trapped by a compass... there is not much more to be done in speaking or showing.

The time to be silent has come.

But, we can still speak to God.

And THAT... is not to be underestimated!

Blessings until next time.

Edwin Shank

To be continued (maybe not consecutively)

"Intensely striving to be... A follower of Jesus indeed... In whom there is no guile"

"Finally, brothers (and sisters) whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." ~ Philippians 4:8